Military Humor

1. How many Air Force pilots does it take to change a light bulb? 

One. He just holds it while the world revolves around him. 

2. How do you play Air Force Bingo? 

“A-10… B-52… F-16!”

3. What’s the difference between God and an Air Force pilot? 

God doesn’t think he’s a fighter pilot.

4. Emergency management: “Always remember that if one engine fails on a dual-engine plane, you’ll still have enough power to safely reach the scene of the crash.” 

5. Air Force Fact: The only time you can have too much fuel is when you’re on fire. 

6. An Airman and a Marine walk into the restroom at the same time. 

The Airman finishes up and heads out. 

When the Marine is finished, he washes his hands and then catches up to the Airman. 

“Hey, buddy. In the Marines, they teach us to wash our hands after we take a leak.

” The airman responds, “In the Air Force, they teach us not to pee on our hands.” 

7. What do pilots and air traffic controllers have in common? If pilots screw up, they die. If air traffic controllers screw up, pilots also die. 

8. It’s 1955 at a SAC B-36 base and an F-86 pilot is requesting landing instructions. 

He is low on fuel and asks for priority. 

The tower tells him he is second in line behind a B-36 with an engine out. 

The Jet pilot’s response, “Ahh, the dreaded 9 engine landing.” 

9. How do you know when your date with a fighter pilot is half over? He says, “Enough about me. Want to hear about my plane?” 

10. An F-16 comes careening down the runway. It’s anything but smooth — fishtailing and leaving a line of burnt rubber and sparks behind it. 

Tower: “Need any assistance, Airman?” 

Pilot: “I don’t know, Tower, we’re not done crashing yet!”