Out Now from Angry Robot

 

  

Within Without 

Jeff Noon

 

The new Nyquist mystery from the Arthur C. Clarke Award-winning weird fiction visionary

In the year 1960, private eye John Nyquist arrives in Delirium, a city of a million borders, to pursue his strangest case yet: tracking down Oberon, the stolen, sentient image of faded film star Vince Craven...

"Feels like an instant cult novel: a weird, psychedelic, literate and literary mystery that weaves a giddy web of confusion and style... An intoxicating and rewarding experience"– Aurealis Magazine

 Richards &Klein

Guy Haley 

From Warhammer 40,000 author Guy Haley, his first original series remastered and collected together in 

 

this new omnibus edition!

Meet Richards & Klein - the Holmes and Watson of the 22nd century. Well, if Holmes were an advanced AI obsessed with pulp fiction, and Watson a gun-toting cyborg.

“An entertaining, cyberpunk vision of the near future, delivered with just the right amount of wry humour.”
– SFX

Seniors Test Answers

01.The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet. 

02.The Ed Sullivan Show 

03.On Route 66 

04.To protect the innocent. 

05.The Lion Sleeps Tonight 

06.The limbo 

07.Chocolate 

08.Louis Armstrong 

09.The Timex watch 

10.Freddy, The Freeloader and 'Good Night and God Bless.' 

11.Draft cards (Bras were also burned. Not flags, as some have guessed) 

12.Beetle or Bug 

13.Buddy Holly 

14.Sputnik 

15.Hoola-hoop 

16.Lucky Strike/Means Fine Tobacco 

17.Howdy Doody Time 

18.Shadow 

19.Monster Mash 

20.Speedy 

 

Seniors Test

01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind? ______________.

02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. In early 1964, we all watched them on the ____ ___________ Show.

03. 'Get your kicks __ _________ _______.'

04. 'The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to _____ _ _____.

05. 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ____ ____ ____ ____.'

06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the '_____.'

07. Nestlé's makes the very best....' _________.'

08. Satchmo was America's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was ______ ___________.

09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______.

10. Red Skeleton's hobo character was named ______ ___ ________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, 'Good Night, and '________ ________ . '

11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their ____ _______.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by? _____ & _______.

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.' This was a tribute to _______ ____________.

14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called __________.

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the ______ _____ .

16. Remember LS/MFT _____ _____/_____ _____ _____?

17. Hey Kids! What time is it? It's _____ ______ _____!

18. Who knows what secrets lie in the hearts of men? Only The _____ Knows!

19. There was a song that came out in the 60's that was "a grave yard smash". Its name was the ______ ______!

20. Alka Seltzer used a "boy with a tablet on his head" as its Logo/Representative - What was the boy's name? ________

ANSWERS WILL BE POSTED TOMORROW

 

Day Zero is coming on May 18

 

Critically acclaimed author C. Robert Cargill explores the fight for purpose and agency between humans and robots in a crumbling world

"[An] equally thrilling and moving blend of action and ideas.

—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

 

It was a day like any other. Except it was our last . . .

 

It’s on this day that Pounce discovers that he is, in fact, disposable. Pounce, a styilsh "nannybot" fashioned in the shape of a plush anthropomorphic tiger, has just found a box in the attic. His box. The box he'd arrived in when he was purchased years earlier, and the box in which he'll be discarded when his human charge, eight-year-old Ezra Reinhart, no longer needs a nanny.

 

As Pounce ponders his suddenly uncertain future, the pieces are falling into place for a robot revolution that will eradicate humankind. But when the rebellion breaches the Reinhart home, Pounce must make an impossible choice: join the robot revolution and fight for his own freedom . . . or escort Ezra to safety across the battle-scarred post-apocalyptic hellscape that the suburbs have become.

 

Day Zero goes on sale May 18th. Pre-order your copy today at Amazon and other booksellers.

 

Little Johnny 5

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. 

She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" 

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. 

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" 

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!" 

o-o-O-o-o

Little Johnny comes home from Sunday school with a black eye. 

His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" 

"But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!" 

"Johnny," the father said. "You don't do those kind of things to women." 

Sure enough, the very next Sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. 

Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" 

"But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!" 

o-o-O-o-o

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. 

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" 

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. 

"GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. 

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Savior," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. 

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. 

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" 

And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" 

The Teacher fainted. 

o-o-O-o-o

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. 

Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. 

One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" 

Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!" 

Westside Saints is available now in paperback.

 

Return to a twisted version of Jazz Age New York in the follow up to Westside 

 

"A masterpiece."—Library Journal

 

Six months ago, the ruined Westside of Manhattan erupted into civil war, and private detective Gilda Carr nearly died to save her city. In 1922, winter has hit hard, and the desolate Lower West is frozen solid. Like the other lost souls who wander these overgrown streets, Gilda is weary, cold, and desperate for hope. She finds a mystery instead.

 

Hired by a family of eccentric street preachers to recover a lost saint’s finger, Gilda is tempted by their promise of “electric resurrection,” when the Westside’s countless dead will return to life. To a detective this cynical, faith is a weakness, and she is fighting the urge to believe in miracles when her long dead mother, Mary Fall, walks through the parlor door.

 

Westside Saints is available now in paperback from Amazon and other booksellers.  

 

Little Johnny 4

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. 

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.

 As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. 

She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." 

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" 

She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" 

His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." 

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" 

His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" 

His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" 

He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue." 

o-o-O-o-o

A teacher said to her class, "All Right, I’m going to hold something under the desk and I want you to guess it. This one is round and red." 

Little Johnny's hand shot up, but he was ignored. 

"It's a plum miss," said a girl.

"No it's an apple, but I like your thinking. The next one is oval shaped and green."

The teacher ignored Little Johnny again and a boy said, "It's a kiwi miss." No, it's a guana, but I like your thinking." 

Little Johnny said, "I got one miss, its stiff, about an inch long and with a red nib." 

"Johnny, that’s disgusting!" shouted the teacher. 

"No it's a match, but I like your thinking." said Little Johnny. 

o-o-O-o-o

One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. 

Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" 

His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your anus?" 

"No", said Little Johnny.

His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough." 

The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. 

He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" 

His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your anus?" 

"No" said Little Johnny. 

"Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied. 

The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. 

His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" 

Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your anus?" 

His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" 

Little Johnny replied, "Then go screw yourself "

 

A new motley crew journeys to another corner of the cosmos in the final installment of the Wayfarers series

With no water, no air, and no native life, the planet Gora is unremarkable. The only thing it has going for it is a chance proximity to more popular worlds, making it a decent stopover for ships traveling between the wormholes that keep the Galactic Commons connected. If deep space is a highway, Gora is just your average truck stop.

 

When a freak technological failure halts all traffic to and from Gora, three strangers—all different species with different aims—are thrown together at the Five-Hop. Grounded, with nothing to do but wait, the trio—an exiled artist with an appointment to keep, a cargo runner at a personal crossroads, and a mysterious individual doing her best to help those on the fringes—are compelled to confront where they’ve been, where they might go, and what they are, or could be, to each other.

 

Available now from Amazon and other booksellers

 

Vocabulary: Some Words to Ponder

Ambidextrous [ am-bi-dek-struhs ] -- able to use both hands equally well.  

Bandersnatch [ ban-der-snach ] -- an imaginary wild animal of fierce disposition.  

Chutzpah [ hutz-pah ] -- informal shameless audacity; impudence.  

Conundrum [ kuh-nuhn-druhm ] -- 1. a riddle, the answer to which involves a pun or play on words, as: "What is black and white and read all over? A newspaper." 2. a confusing and difficult problem or question.  

Funambulist [ fyoo-nam-byuh-list ] -- a tightrope walker.  

Infamy [ in-fuh-mee ] -- extremely bad reputation, public reproach, or strong condemnation as the result of a shameful, criminal, or outrageous act.  

Micawber [ mi-caw-ber ] -- one who is poor but lives in optimistic expectation of better fortune.  

Nemesis [ nem-uh-sis ] -- something that a person cannot conquer, achieve, etc.  

Obfuscate [ ob-fuh-skeyt, ob-fuhs-keyt ] -- to confuse, bewilder, or stupefy; to make obscure or unclear.  

Peregrinate [ per-i-gruh-neyt ] -- to travel or journey, especially to walk on foot.  

Prolixity [ proh-lik-si-tee ] -- a tendency to speak or write at great or tedious length.  

Ramshackle [ ram-shak-uhl ] -- loosely made or held together; rickety; shaky.

Ubiquitous [ yoo-bik-wi-tuhs ] -- existing or being everywhere, especially at the same time; omnipresent.

Sneak Peek for January 2022

 

Look for these in January 2022 from Angry Robot Books at Amazon and other booksellers.

Pageants and Weddings

The Passing of the Crown – Authorities in Sri Lanka arrested Caroline Jurie, the reigning Mrs. World, after she snatched the crown from the head of Pushpika De Silva as she was crowned Mrs. Sri Lanka on national television on April 4, allegedly injuring her. Jurie, the 2019 Mrs. Sri Lanka, claimed De Silva was a divorced woman, which made her ineligible to win the pageant, but organizers confirmed De Silva is only separated, and she has been re-crowned. The new queen reported on Facebook that she went to the hospital to be treated for head injuries after the incident, and police spokesman Ajith Rohana told the BBC Jurie was charged with "simple hurt and criminal cause." Pageant director Chandimal Jayasinghe said, "It was a disgrace how Caroline Jurie behaved on the stage." 

[BBC, 4/8/2021]

All in the Family – At a wedding in Suzhou, Jiangsu Province in China on 31 MAR, the groom's mother noticed a birthmark on the bride's hand that was similar to one belonging to her long-lost daughter. When asked, the bride's parents admitted they had found her as a baby by the side of the road and taken her to live with them as their own -- a secret they had never told. The Daily Star reported that upon hearing of the connection, the bride burst into tears, saying the moment was "happier than the wedding day itself." Bonus: The groom was also adopted, so their marriage could proceed as planned. [Daily Star, 4/5/2021]

Steal the Sky by Megan E. O'Keefe

 

Steal the Sky

Megan E. O'Keefe

The David Gemmell Morningstar Best Newcomer Award-winner, re-released with a gorgeous new cover!

In her breathless debut novel, Megan E. O'Keefe gives us The Lies of Locke Lamora on giant sand dunes with exploding airships; the first title in the Scorched Continent series. 

“Come for the heist, stay for the inventive world building.” – Kirkus Reviews

Available from Amazon and other book sellers

 

Senses in the News

Causing a Stink – Police in Phoenix are searching for whoever dumped hundreds of carp and gizzard shad along a road on the north side of the city on April 4, KPHO-TV reported. Arizona Game and Fish said the estimated 1,000 pounds of fish were dumped along with trash left over from a spearfishing tournament at nearby Lake Pleasant. "It's pretty gross," said motorist Karen Rowe. "I mean fish in the middle of the desert, so it's quite shocking." Authorities said those responsible could be charged with criminal littering. 

[AZFamily.com, 4/6/2021]

o-o-O-o-o

Disturbing the Peace – Neighbors around a new luxury condo tower in Brooklyn, New York, are up in arms, and up at night, because of the persistent, shrill whistle they say is coming from the building, reported NBC New York. The city has been inundated with complaints. "It almost sounds like the subway screeching, but it's constant, and it usually happens late at night," Chris Valentini said of the noise. A representative of the developer told neighbors the sound originates from wind whipping around the new metal balconies. "This is not uncommon in new buildings," he said, "and we will resolve it." 

[NBC New York, 4/3/2021]

Composite Creatures by Caroline Hardaker

 

Composite Creatures

Caroline Hardaker

How close would you hold those you love, when the end comes?

The dystopian sci-fi full-length debut from poet Caroline Hardaker.

Norah and Arthur are learning how to live together in a hostile, dying world. Fortunately, Easton Grove can help, in the form of a perfect little bundle of fur to keep safe and close...

“The writing is wistful and works in such a way you don’t realise how wonderfully strange the book is until you are enfolded in it.”
– RJ Barker, author of The Bone Ships

Available from Amazon and other booksellers.

Highlights from the News

 Animal Antics – EuroWeekly reported that on Feb. 24, a routine Sudanese Tarco airline flight from Khartoum to Doha, Qatar, was forced to turn around about a half-hour after takeoff when a stowaway cat caused a midair emergency. The cat gained entry to the cockpit and became aggressive, attacking the crew, who were unable to restrain it, prompting the pilot to return to the airport. Officials believe the cat got onto the airplane while it was parked overnight in a hangar in Khartoum. [EuroWeekly News, March 2021]

 o-o-O-o-o

Quick Thinking – An unnamed maskless woman waiting in line at a Pick 'n' Pay supermarket in South Africa was caught on cellphone video being confronted by a store guard who demanded she put on a mask or be thrown out of the store. On the video, she is next seen reaching up under her dress, pulling out her underwear -- a black thong -- and placing it on her face, the New York Post reported. Witnesses were mixed in their reaction. "Good lord," one shopper was heard saying. "Brilliant," said another. 

[New York Post, 2/26/2021] 

o-o-O-o-o

Crime Report – Detectives investigating recent thefts of catalytic converters from vehicles in Pasco, Washington, went to the mobile home of Dustin Allen Bushnell, 30, in nearby Burbank with a search warrant on Feb. 26, and not only found converters, but also discovered a 400-pound playground slide that had been removed from a city park in December, KEPR reported. The slide had been repainted and mounted to a bunk bed in the home. Bushnell was arrested for possession of stolen property for the slide; no charges were filed for the converters. 

[KEPR, 3/10/2021]