Why I Like Retirement

 Number of days in a week: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

 Bedtime: Three hours after falling asleep on the couch.

 Biggest gripe: There is not enough time to get everything done.

 Benefit of being called a senior: The term comes with a 10% discount.

 What is considered formal attire: Tied shoes.

 Why do retirees count pennies: They are the only ones who have the time.

 Common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire: NUTS!

 Reason retirees are so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage: They know that as soon as
they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

 What retirees call a long lunch: Normal.

 Best way to describe retirement: The never ending Coffee Break.

 Biggest advantage of going back to school: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

 What do retirees do all week: Monday through Friday, NOTHING. Saturday & Sunday they rest.

 Why doing nothing is hard work: You never know when you're done.