Groaners, Part 2

 An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the
medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to ! bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, ‘The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on.’

 A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register.
His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, ‘I must have
taken Leif off my census.’

 There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant, and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

 A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, ‘Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?’