Monday, October 21, 2019

Military Humor

During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud
with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
'Your jeep stuck, sir?' asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
'Nope,' replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, 'yours is.'


Officer: 'Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?'
Soldier: 'Sure, buddy.'
Officer: 'That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!'
Officer: 'Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?'
Soldier: 'No, SIR!'


An Air Force Chief Master Sergeant and a General were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished
with their shaves when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
The General shouted, 'Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!'
The Chief turned to his barber and said, 'Go ahead and put it on me. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a
whorehouse smells like.'


Military USMC Quote… "When I joined the military it was illegal to be homosexual, then it became optional, and now
it's legal. I'm getting out before they make it mandatory."


The reason the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines squabble among themselves is that they don't speak the same
language. For example, take a simple phrase like "Secure the building." The various services would take the following
 The Army will put guards around the place.
 The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
 The Air Force will take out a 5-year lease with an option to buy.
 The Marines will kill everybody inside and make it a command post.

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