Things to Think About

Things to Think About

~ Timothy Jones...Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Give him religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish

~ Desmond Tutu...When the white missionaries came to Africa, they had the Bible and we had the land. They said, 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes. When we opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land.

~ Zsa Zsa Gabor...I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.

~ Jeff Foxworthy...You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

~ Emo Philips...A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

~ Robin Hall...Lawyers believe that a man is innocent until proven broke.

~ Jean Rostand...Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror.

~ Arthur C. Clarke...I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical.

~ Steven Wright...If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat?

~ Doug Hamwell...America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric.

~ Johnny Carson...If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.

~ Jimmy Durante...Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.

~ George Roberts...The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.

~ Jonathan Winters...If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.