Potpourri #4

A 70-year old woman chose to remain overnight at a costly hotel as a treat for her birthday. The following morning she was appalled when the desk clerk gave her a bill for $250.000. 

She requested to know why the charge was so high. “It’s a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly aren’t worth $250.000 for just an overnight stay! I didn’t; even have breakfast,” she told the clerk. 

The clerk clarified that $250.000 is the standard rate. At that point, the older lady insisted on talking with the manager. 

The manager showed up and explained that the hotel “has an Olympic-sized swimming pool and a huge conference center which are available for use. 

“But I didn’t use them,” the old women said.

“Well, they are here, and you could have,” he said. The manger proceeded with that she could have likewise have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which h hotel is famous. 

“We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here,” he said. 

“But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” she said. 

The manager replied, “Well, we have them, and you could have.” 

Regardless of what facility he recommended, the older lady would just answer, “But I did’ use it!” 

The manger then countered with his standard reaction. 

After several minutes of contending with him, she chose to pay. 

He manager was shocked when she gave the check to him. “But madam, this check is only for $50.00,” he said.

That is right. I charge you $200.00 or sleeping with me,” the old lady replied. 

"But I didn’t", the manager shouted. 

“Well, too bad. I was here and you could have.” 

                                                                    o-o-O-o-o

A mother-in-law stopped by expectantly at her newly married son’s house. She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. 

"What are you doing?” She asked. 

“I’m waiting for Jeff to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered. 

“But your naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed. 

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained. 

“Love dress? But your naked!” she says. 

“Jeff loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy.” 

The mother-in-law on the way home thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and expectantly waited for her husband, lying provocatively on the couch. 

Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her naked. “What are you doing?” he asked. “This is my love dress” she replied.

 Needs ironing” he says. “What’s for dinner?”