Military Truisms

 From the Army 

 Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. 

 Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching. 

 No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection. 

From the Navy 

 Any ship can be a mine-sweeper. Once. 

 There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky. 

 Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers. 

From the Air Force 

 It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed. 

 The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire. 

 If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it’s probably a helicopter –and therefore, unsafe. 

From the Marines 

 When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. 

 Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. 

 “You, you, and you...panic. The rest of you, come with me.”