Little Johnny 5

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. 

She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" 

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. 

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" 

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!" 

o-o-O-o-o

Little Johnny comes home from Sunday school with a black eye. 

His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" 

"But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!" 

"Johnny," the father said. "You don't do those kind of things to women." 

Sure enough, the very next Sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. 

Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" 

"But Dad," Johnny said, "It wasn't my fault. There we were in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of us had her dress in the crack of her butt. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in!" 

o-o-O-o-o

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. 

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" 

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. 

"GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. 

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Savior," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. 

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. 

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" 

And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" 

The Teacher fainted. 

o-o-O-o-o

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. 

Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. 

One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" 

Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"