Little Johnny 4

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. 

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.

 As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. 

She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." 

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" 

She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" 

His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." 

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" 

His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" 

His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" 

He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue." 

o-o-O-o-o

A teacher said to her class, "All Right, I’m going to hold something under the desk and I want you to guess it. This one is round and red." 

Little Johnny's hand shot up, but he was ignored. 

"It's a plum miss," said a girl.

"No it's an apple, but I like your thinking. The next one is oval shaped and green."

The teacher ignored Little Johnny again and a boy said, "It's a kiwi miss." No, it's a guana, but I like your thinking." 

Little Johnny said, "I got one miss, its stiff, about an inch long and with a red nib." 

"Johnny, that’s disgusting!" shouted the teacher. 

"No it's a match, but I like your thinking." said Little Johnny. 

o-o-O-o-o

One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. 

Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" 

His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your anus?" 

"No", said Little Johnny.

His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough." 

The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. 

He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" 

His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your anus?" 

"No" said Little Johnny. 

"Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied. 

The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. 

His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" 

Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your anus?" 

His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" 

Little Johnny replied, "Then go screw yourself "