More Military Humor

1. What’s the Marines’ main mission?
To make sure the Army never gets their feet wet.

2. An Airman, Soldier, and Marine are sitting around talking about hardships they faced on their last deployment.
Airman: “The worst was when the air conditioner in our tent broke and it was 110 outside!”
Soldier: “WTF, you had air conditioners?”
Marine: “Wait, stop. You had tents?”
 

3. A Captain halted a Corporal and asked why his stripes weren’t on his sleeves.
He replied, “They hurt my nose when I wiped.”

4. A morning radio announcer on the AFES station in Anchorage was giving the time one morning at 8 AM.
He said, for those of you in the Air Force, it is 8 AM.
In the Army, it is 0800 hours.
In the Navy, it is 8 bells.
For the Marines, the little hand is on the 8 and the big hand is on the 12.
 

5. What do you call a Marine who can read and write? “Sir! Yes, Sir!”
 

6. Three Marines are walking down the sidewalk and see a large pile of brown matter.
One scoops some of it up in his hand and says, “It feels like poop.”
The other picks some up, puts it in his mouth, and says, “It tastes like poop, too.”
The last marine picks some up and sniffs saying, “It smells like poop, as well.”
The trio walks way, happy that none of them stepped in it.

7. What do you call a Marine with an IQ of 160? A platoon.
 

8. During deployment on the Aircraft Carrier Midway, there was an inspection by a visiting Admiral.
All Navy and Marine personnel lined up in formation for the Admiral.
While walking past several Sailors asking questions and receiving appropriate answers the Admiral stopped in front of a Marine and asked “What’s the first thing you do after hearing “Man Overboard?”
Without hesitation, the Marine asked “Officer or Enlisted?”

9. I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements
So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.

10. What do you call a Marine with a head wound? Ajar head.