1. How do you knock out a marine while he’s drinking water? Slam the toilet lid down on his head.
2. A Marine orders a pizza and the waitress asks if he’d like it sliced into four pieces or six. “Make it four. I’m not hungry enough for six.”
3. What do Marines have in common with other members of the Armed Forces? They all originally set out to become Marines.
4. Why did God give the Marine one more brain cell than the horse? So he wouldn’t poop along the parade route.
5. Ever wonder what Marine stands for? Muscles. Are. Required. Intelligence. Not. Essential.
6. Helicopter nicknames
USAF: Birds
USA: Choppers
USN: Helos
USMC: OHH! OHH OHOH! (pointing at the sky)
7. What’s the worst thing you can say to a Marine? “I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to join the marines.”
8. A vegan, a cross-fitter, and a Marine walk into a bar… I know it because they announced it as soon as they walked in.
9. How do you keep a Marine happy in his old age? Tell him a joke when he’s young.
10. Bartender: “Guys, I just heard a great joke about the military!”
Patron: “Before you say anything, you should know that my buddy and I are marines. Think you still want to share it?”
Bartender: “Nah. I don’t want to have to explain it.”
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