Marriage 10 Commandments

 Commandment 1 - Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so is thunder and lightning.

 Commandment 2 - If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in
your sleep.

 Commandment 3 - Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least a 100 grand!

 Commandment 4 - Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the
woman listens -- in the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens--and in the third year, they both
speak and the neighbors listen.

 Commandment 5 - When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either
the car is new or the wife is.

 Commandment 6 - Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to
decide which one.

 Commandment 7 - Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After
marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

 Commandment 8 - Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.

 Commandment 9 - Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry. That is why one treats the other like
toxic waste.

 Commandment 10 - A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.