THE DIFFERENTIAL THEORY OF SPECIAL OPERATIONS FORCES

THE DIFFERENTIAL THEORY OF SPECIAL OPERATIONS FORCES (Snake Model)

Upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operation (AO)

Paratrooper: Kills the snake

Armor: Runs over snake, giggles and looks for more snakes.

Infantry: Ugh! Me See Snake. Me Like Snake. Ouch! Me No Like Snake.

Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Couldn't find snake. Back to base for crew rest and a manicure.

Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it.

Ranger (alt): Assaults the snake’s home and secures it for use by friendly snakes.

SEAL: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites the SEAL then retreats to safety.

Corps Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred civilians with a massive TOT with three Field Artillery battalions in support. Mission is considered a success and all participants are awarded Silver Stars. (Cooks, Mechanics, Legal Clerks etc)

Marine Recon: Follows the snake and gets lost.

Para rescue: Wounds the snake in first encounter, and then feverishly works to save the snakes life.

U.S. Special Forces: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes.