Coming in January

Bubba and the Cosmic Bloodsuckers by Joe Lansdale

Bubba and the Cosmic Bloodsuckers by Joe Lansdale, Subterranean Press $40-signed limited edition, $250-lettered edition, reviewed by Jim Brock.

Before there was BUBBA-HO-TEP there was a little fracas between Bubba and an outfit of Cosmic Blood-Suckers. Only the mind of Joe Lansdale could create "hive-minded, shape-shifting, vampire-like creatures from a dark dimension who have taken up residence in a New Orleans junkyard."

If you visualize as you read (as I do), I tell you it would take some serious stretches of the imagination to picture the action in this book. That is part of the genius of Lansdale that he can take us on such wild journeys in multiple genres and please us so vividly in each of them.

Joe Lansdale need bow to no one in coining a phrase. He generally does more in one page than many authors do in several chapters. Being a son of the south and a devoted reader, I love each and every one of them. Elvis' team against the Blood-Suckers is led by Colonel Tom Parker, a strategist named Jack, Elvis; right hand man Johnny (who also chronicles things), a descendant of John Henry (the steel driving man), a blind man with exceptional and valuable sight, and a female recruit and new pop star named Jenny (stage named Raven).

Done correctly this could be one hell of a movie. It already is one hell of a book. Since it was written by Joe R. Lansdale it couldn't be any less than fantastic.

Ed King Passes

Ed King, retired guitarist of Lynyrd Skynyrd has passed. He was 68. Besides being a master guitarist, he was the co-writer of SWEET HOME ALABAMA. It and FREE BIRD are probably the two most popular songs that have made the legend that is SKYNYRD.

Rest easy and say "Hello" to Ronnie and Steve for me.

NOHO GLOAMING... POEMS BY DANIEL KNAUF

From the creator of Carnivàle and writer/executive producer of Blacklist, comes a poetry collection from a cult icon. Daniel Knauf brings the darkness and surrealism fans have grown to love, but brings a vulnerability and intimacy that makes each poem memorable and enjoyable. It is noir with heart and a coda for the soul. Darkness and light vying for dominance in poems that go from personal and confessional to rambunctiously fantastical. A heady dive into the abyss of love and other monsters. Daniel Knauf is a true storyteller.


"Written as a soul song for longing, Knauf's collection is both a dream and an awakening." -Stephanie M. Wytovich, Bram Stoker award-winning author of Brothel.

"In Daniel Knauf's two-part composition of poetry, the first passage is a kaleidoscope of the landlocked in endless roles, trying to believe in true love/magic while submerged in self-destruction & redemption. The coda is more than curious, it's an adrenaline rush, a noir dance of the impossible, delivered straight-up in a splintered glass." --Linda D. Addison, award-winning author of "How to Recognize a Demon Has Become Your Friend" and HWA Lifetime Achievement Award winner.

Knauf's poetry is cinematic, creating vast landscapes and scenes, on bridges, between land and sky. The multitude of characters create a rich, nonlinear story that mimics our memories, and our moments, and intertwines various worlds and moods, from all-consuming love, loneliness, superheroes, mythology, texting, technology, and Dante. Knauf is both direct and strangely surreal." -Joanna C. Valente, author of Marys of the Sea, Sexting Ghosts, and the editor of A Shadow Map: Writing by Survivors of Sexual Assault

aVAILABLE FROM aMAZON.COM

Implanted by Lauren C Teffeau

Implanted by Lauren C Teffeau

The data stored in her blood can save a city on the brink… or destroy it, in this gripping cyberpunk thriller

When college student Emery Driscoll is blackmailed into being a courier for a clandestine organisation, she’s cut off from the neural implant community which binds the domed city of New Worth together. Her new masters exploit her rare condition which allows her to carry encoded data in her blood, and train her to transport secrets throughout the troubled city. New Worth is on the brink of Emergence – freedom from the dome – but not everyone wants to leave. Then a data drop goes bad, and Emery is caught between factions: those who want her blood, and those who just want her dead.

Forthcoming from Angry Robot Books

FEROCIOUS by Paula Stokes

In Ferocious, Paula Stokes returns to the world of Vicarious in this sequel, a high-action psychological thriller with a protagonist out for vengeance.

When Winter Kim finds out that her sister is dead and that she has a brother she never knew about, only two things matter—finding what’s left of her family and killing the man who destroyed her life. Her mission leads her from St. Louis to Los Angeles back to South Korea, where she grew up.

Things get increasingly dangerous once Winter arrives in Seoul. Aided by her friends Jesse and Sebastian, Winter attempts to infiltrate an international corporation to get close to her target, a nefarious businessman named Kyung. But keeping her last remaining loved ones out of the line of fire proves difficult, and when all seems to be lost, Winter must face one last devastating decision: is revenge worth sacrificing everything for? Or can she find a spark of hope in the darkness that threatens to engulf her?

“A total mind-bending thrill ride with a heroine that's as smart as she is strong.”—Lindsay Cummings, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Murder Complex

“A powerful, kick-ass girl caught up in a high-tech, twisty mystery. But buckle up! This thrill ride travels at breakneck speed.”—Justine Magazine

“Reading Vicarious is like tiptoeing across a field of landmines. Blindfolded. In other words, I loved this book!”—Victoria Scott, author of Titans

PAULA STOKES grew up in St. Louis, Missouri, where she studied psychology and nursing. In between pursuing her degrees, she spent a year teaching English in Seoul, South Korea. Stokes is the author of several novels, including Liars, Inc. She currently lives in Portland, Oregon.

On Sale August 28, 2018 from Tor Teen. 9780765380975. $9.99 USD.

ENHANCED by Carrie Jones

Carrie Jones, the New York Times bestselling author of Flying, presents another science fiction adventure of cheerleader-turned-alien-hunter Mana in Enhanced.

Seventeen-year-old Mana has found and rescued her mother, but her work isn’t done yet. Her mother may be out of alien hands, but she’s in a coma, unable to tell anyone what she knows.

Mana is ready to take action. The only problem? Nobody will let her. Lyle, her best friend and almost-boyfriend (for a minute there, anyway), seems to want nothing to do with hunting aliens, despite his love of Doctor Who. Bestie Seppie is so desperate to stay out of it, she’s actually leaving town. And her mom’s hot but arrogant alien-hunting partner, China, is ignoring Mana's texts, cutting her out of the mission entirely.

They all know the alien threat won't stay quiet for long. It’s up to Mana to fight her way back in.

“Witty dialogue and flawless action.”—VOYA

“YA readers, you’re in for a treat this week. Hilarious and action-packed, this novel is sure to be the perfect summer read.”—Bookish

CARRIE JONES is the New York Times and internationally bestselling author of the Need series, as well as After Obsession with Steven E. Wedel. She is a distinguished alum of Vermont College's MFA Program and a volunteer firefighter in Maine.

On Sale August 28, 2018 from Tor Teen. 9780765336606. $9.99 USD

Invisible Planets, Chinese Science Fiction

Invisible Planets, edited by multi award-winning writer Ken Liu--translator of the bestselling and Hugo Award-winning novel The Three Body Problem by acclaimed Chinese author Cixin Liu--is his second thought-provoking anthology of Chinese short speculative fiction. Invisible Planets is a groundbreaking anthology of Chinese short speculative fiction.

The thirteen stories in this collection, including two by Cixin Liu and the Hugo and Sturgeon award-nominated “Folding Beijing” by Hao Jingfang, add up to a strong and diverse representation of Chinese SF. Some have won awards, some have garnered serious critical acclaim, some have been selected for Year’s Best anthologies, and some are simply Ken Liu’s personal favorites.

To round out the collection, there are several essays from Chinese scholars and authors, plus an illuminating introduction by Ken Liu. Anyone with an interest in international science fiction will find Invisible Planets an indispensable addition to their collection.

"These stories, along with the rest of the anthology, represent the best in both science fiction and works in translation, detailing situations that appear alien on the surface but deftly reframe contemporary issues to give readers a new view of familiar human experiences.A phenomenal anthology of short speculative fiction." —Kirkus Reviews, starred review

"Greatly varied in theme and approach, all of these stories impress with their visionary sweep and scope...superb compilation." —Publishers Weekly, starred review

KEN LIU (translator) is a writer, lawyer, and computer programmer. His short story "The Paper Menagerie" was the first work of fiction ever to sweep the Nebula, Hugo, and World Fantasy Awards.

On sale August 21, 2018, from Tor Books. 9780765384201. $16.99 USD.

A New Civil War Novel

The fifth historical novel of New York Times bestselling author Ralph Peters's breathtaking, Boyd Award-winning Civil War series

Written with the literary flair and historical accuracy readers expect from Ralph Peters, Judgment at Appomattox takes readers through the Civil War’s last grim interludes of combat as flags fall and hearts break.

A great war nears its end. Robert E. Lee makes a desperate, dramatic gamble that fails. Richmond falls. Each day brings new combat and more casualties, as Lee’s exhausted, hungry troops race to preserve the Confederacy. But Grant does not intend to let Lee escape. . . . In one of the most thrilling episodes in American history, heroes North and South battle each other across southern Virginia as the armies converge on a sleepy country court house.

Capping the author’s acclaimed five-novel cycle on the war in the East, this “dramatized history” pays homage to all the soldiers who fought, from an Irish-immigrant private wearing gray, to the “boy generals” who mastered modern war. This is a grand climax to a great, prize-winning series that honors—and reveals—America’s past.

“For those who want to truly understand what the war was like for the men who fought and endured it, there is no better reference than Ralph Peters’ five Civil War novels . . . superbly researched, richly imagined, brilliantly written.” —America’s Civil War

"Epic . . . battles explode from Ralph Peters' pen . . . with his five-novel masterwork—from Gettysburg to Appomattox—Peters has become one of our most important historians." —Washington Times

RALPH PETERS is an award-winning, bestselling novelist; a retired U.S. Army officer and former enlisted man; the author of numerous works on strategy; and a popular media commentator. In uniform and as a researcher and journalist, he has covered numerous conflicts and trouble spots, from Africa to the Caucasus, from Iraq to Pakistan.

Renowned for accuracy and authenticity, his Civil War writing, under his own name and as Owen Parry, has won numerous prizes, including the American Library Association’s Boyd Award (three times), the Hammett Prize, the Herodotus Award, the Grady McWhiney Award, and the Meade Society’s Order of Merit. Peters was the recipient of the 2015 Andrew J. Goodpaster prize as an outstanding American soldier-scholar, and in 2017 he was inducted into the U.S. Army's Officer Candidate School Hall of Fame.

His Civil War series, the Battle Hymn Cycle, spans five books: Cain at Gettysburg, Hell or Richmond, Valley of the Shadow, The Damned of Petersburg, and Judgment at Appomattox.

On Sale August 21, 2018 from Forge Books. 9780765371729. $17.99 USD.

ESPN's Pre-Season Top Ten

A short neurological test

1- Find the C below - Please do not use any cursor help.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.

999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999
999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999
999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999
699999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999
999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999
999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999

3 - Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

This is NOT a joke. If you were able to pass these 3 tests, you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist.
Your brain is great and you're far from having a close relationship with Alzheimer.

See You at Walmart

Yesterday, I wore my Korean War Veterans’ cap to Walmart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the
world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to "Wally World" to look at the Wal-martians is always good for some
comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment.

But, I digress, . . . enough of my psychological fixations. While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me,
probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?"
 "No," I replied.
 "Then why are you wearing that cap?"
 "Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812 . . ." I thought it was a snappy retort.
 "The War of 1812, huh?" the Wal-martian queried, "When was that?"
 God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1946," I answered as straight-faced as possible.
 He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1946?"
 "It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way fun!
 "Dude! Really?" He exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"
 I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."
 "Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"
 "Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage."
 The moron nodded knowingly. "Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this.
It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't have said anything."
 "Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"
 With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?"

The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. The lady behind me started laughing so
hard I thought she was about to have a heart attack. I just grinned at her. After checking out and going to the parking
lot, I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing
excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of
pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.

And these people actually VOTE !!! What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back wearing my Homeland Security
cap. Then the next day I will go to the driver's license bureau wearing my Border Patrol hat and see how long it takes
to empty the place. Whoever said retirement is boring? You just need to wear the right kind of cap!

See you at Walmart

SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS !

HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
ROLL AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDICAL AIDS
GOVERNMENT AIDS
MOST OF ALL,
MONETARY AIDS TO THEIR KIDS !
Not forgetting HIV (Hair is Vanishing)
[Source: USS Samuel Gompers | Harry Hudson | July 18, 2018 ++]

Heaven

Stormy Daniels and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day, and both met with an angel to find
out if they would be admitted to Heaven. The Angel said: "Unfortunately, there's only one space available in Heaven
today so I must decide which one of you will be admitted." The Angel then asked Stormy if there was some particular
reason why she should go to Heaven.

Stormy took off her top and said: "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created and I'm sure it
will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity." The Angel thanked Stormy, and asked Her Majesty,
Queen Elizabeth the same question. The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever and flushed it without saying
a word. The Angel immediately stated: "Okay, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."

Stormy was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations and
you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode and got admitted to Heaven! "Could you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Stormy," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush easily beats a pair, no matter how big they are!"

a love for words

Lexophile describes those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish," or "To
write with a broken pencil is pointless" An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create
the best original lexophile. Here are some of the submissions:

 No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
 If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
 I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
 I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
 Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
 When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
 When chemists die, they barium.
 I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
 I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
 England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
 Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
 This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.
 I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
 A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
 When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
 I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
 A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
 A will is a dead giveaway.
 With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
 Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
 Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
 A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
 The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
 He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
 When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
 Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
 Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end

Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older

God's Plan for Aging ….

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have
to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was
good. Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose co-ordination so they would drop
things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good. Then God
considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to
the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good. So if you find as you age,
you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter
under your breath.

Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older

#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.