Teacher: Why are you late?
Teacher: Were you helping him to search for it? How nice of you.
Student: Actually I was sitting on it, waiting for him to give up searching and leave.
When I was single, I kept praying to find a good husband until I found my husband. My husband never prayed to have a good wide, so he got me.
Q. If your wife is shouting at the front door, and your dog is barking at the back door, who should you let in first?
A. The dog of course. At least he will be quiet after you let him in.
Husband calls his wife. She picks up and angrily says: - “I told you I’ll be back in 5 minutes, so stop calling me every half hour”.
At the expensive restaurant:
Guy: - “So lets go to my place next”.
Girl: - “Do you really think that you can go to bed with me, just for taking me out to a fancy dinner and a couple of drinks in a fancy restaurant?”
Guy: - “Oh what are u talking about? I wouldn’t even think about this. Would you please give us two separate bills?
He told her: - I’m not rich, and I have no fancy cars, and I don’t own a company, and I don’t have a big house like my friend John, but I truly love you”.
She got touched, she hugged him very tight, started crying and whispered to him – “If you really love me, then introduce me to your friend John”.
Wife calls her husband and tells him: - The car doesn’t start. Maye there’s water in the engine”.
Husband asks: - “Since when do you know about cars and mechanics? Where is it now?
Wife replies: - “It parked at the bottom of the lake”.
Wife: - “I’m so happy. I was at the doctor rand he told me that, for a 40-year-old woman, I still have the breasts of an 18-year-old girl”
Husband: - “And what did he say about your 40-year-old ass?”
Wife: - “We didn’t really get the chance to talk about you during our conversation”.
A man went to a shop to buy a gift for his daughter.
He asked the shop assistant: - “How much does a Barbie doll cost?”
The shop assistant replied: - “Barbie Goes to the Gym costs $10, Barbie Goes Shopping costs $10, Barbie Goes to the Beach costs $10, Barbie Goes Skiing costs $10, and Divorced Barbie cost $200”
Surprised the man asked: - “Why does Divorced Barbie cost $200 when all the other ones just cost $10?”
The shop assistant replied: - “That’s because Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car and Ken’s boat”.
No comments:
Post a Comment