Military Humor

 “If the enemy is in range, so are you” - Infantry Journal.

 “It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed” - U.S. Air Force Manual.

 Whoever said, “The pen is mightier than the sword”, obviously never encountered automatic weapons fire -
General Douglas MacArthur.

 “You, you and you panic. The rest of you, come with me” - U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sergeant.

 “Tracers work both ways” - U.S. Army Ordnance Manual.

 “Five second fuses only last three seconds” - Infantry Journal

 “The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the browser, Runway behind you and Air above you” - Basic Flight Training Manual.

 “Any ship can be a mine sweeper. Once” - Maritime Ops Manual.

 “Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do” - Unknown Marine Recruit.

 “If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him” - USAF Ammo Troop.

 “Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing” - Sign over SR71 Wing Ops.

 “You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3” - Paul F. Crickmore, SR71 Test Pilot.

 “The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire” - Unknown Author.

 “If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter and therefore it is unsafe” - Fixed Wing Pilot.