A to Z, A Mother's Dictionary

A Mother's Dictionary

1. ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

2. BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.

3. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

4. DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.

5. EMPTY NEST: See "WISHFUL THINKING."

6. FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

7. GUM: Adhesive for the hair.

8. HINDSIGHT: What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers.

9. INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

10. JUNK: Dad's stuff.

11. KISS: Mom's medicine.

12. LEMONADE STAND: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of 15 cents.

13. MAYBE: No.

14. NAIL POLISH: part of an assortment of make-up items such as lipstick, eyeliner, blush etc. which ironically make Mom look better while making her young daughter look "like a tramp."

15. OVERSTUFFED RECLINER: Mom's nickname for Dad.

16. PANIC: What a mother goes through when the darn wind-up swing stops.

17. QUIET: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.

18. REFRIGERATOR: Combination art gallery and air-conditioner for the kitchen.

19. SPOILED ROTTEN: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma.

20. TOWELS: See "FLOOR COVERINGS".

21. UNDERWEAR: An article of clothing, the cleanliness of which ensures the wearer will never have an accident.

22. VACATION: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.

23. WALLS: Complete set of drawing paper for kids that comes with every room.

24. XOXOXOXOXO: Mom salutation guaranteed to make the already embarrassing note in a kid's lunch box even, more mortifying.

25. "YIPPEE!": What mother's shout the first day of school.

26. ZUCCHINI: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.

Immigration Laws

Immigration Laws

1. There will be no special bilingual programs in the schools.

2. All ballots will be in this nation's language.

3. All government business will be conducted in our language.

4. Non-residents will NOT have the right to vote no matter how long they are here.

5. Non-citizens will NEVER be able to hold political office.

6. Foreigners will not be a burden to the taxpayers. No welfare, no food stamps, no health care, or any other government assistance programs. Any who are a burden will be deported.

7. Foreigners can invest in this country, but it must be an amount at least equal to 40,000 times the daily minimum wage.

8. If foreigners come here and buy land, their options will be restricted. Certain parcels including waterfront property are reserved for citizens naturally born into this country.

9. Foreigners may have NO protests; NO demonstrations, NO waving of a foreign flag, no political organizing, NO bad-mouthing our president or his policies. These will lead to deportation.

10. If you do come to this country illegally, you will be actively hunted and, when caught, sent to jail until your deportation can be arranged. All assets will be taken from you.

Too strict?

The above laws are the current immigration laws of MEXICO.! If it's good for American's to obey Mexican laws, then it's good vice versa.!!!

Mexican Book Store

Mexican Book Store

I was walking through a local mall and came upon a “Mexican Book Store.”

Never having seen one before, I went in.

As I was wandering around, a clerk asked if he could help me find something.

I asked, “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump’s book about his proposed immigration policy regarding Mexicans?”

The Mexican clerk said, “F--- You, Get Out And Stay Out!"

I said, “Yes, that's the one . . . Do you have it in paperback?”

Mexican Border Tunnels ► Unfinished Tunnel Running Under California Discovered

Mexican Border Tunnels ► Unfinished Tunnel Running Under California Discovered

Mexican and U.S. law enforcement agencies discovered a highly sophisticated underground tunnel—featuring a rail system and solar-powered lighting—running underneath the border between Mexico and California. The San Diego sector of U.S. Customs and Border Protection are investigating an unfinished tunnel they believe drug smugglers and human traffickers were building that was found starting at a residence in Jacume, in the Mexican state of Baja California. On 19 SEP, Mexico State Police, Policia Estatal Preventiva (PEP), and Mexican military forces found the tunnel opening approximately 221 feet south of the border. The tunnel continued north, running underneath the border between the two countries, according to a U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CPB) report released 8 JAN.

A motorcycle is adapted to a rail that was used by Mexican drug trafficker Joaquin ‘El Chapo’ Guzman to move through a tunnel that, according to authorities, he used to escape from El Altiplano, a Mexican maximum-security prison, in Mexico City, on July 15, 2015.

Those building the tunnel had not yet created an exit point at a U.S. location yet, but the underground passage did feature two sump pumps, a solar-powered lighting system and comfortable ventilation. Additionally, a rail system ran the entire length of the tunnel into the United States. U.S. Homeland Security, the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration and Border Patrol agents determined the tunnel had an entry point shaft that went approximately 31 feet down into the soil. The tunnel was 627 feet in length and an exit under the U.S. side went about 15 feet toward the surface but did not break the topsoil. Tunnels are commonly used by drug traffickers and others looking to cross the border illegally, with law enforcement officials from both Mexico and U.S. routinely finding new but often incomplete tunnels running under the border wall.

[Source: Newsweek | Benjamin Fearnow | January 10, 2019]

Notes of Interest

Notes of Interest ► 01 thru 15 JAN 2019

 Norway’s Cars. Almost a third of new cars sold in Norway last year were pure electric, a new world record as the country strives to end sales of fossil-fueled vehicles by 2025.

 Boogie Woogie. To start the New Year on a lighter foot check out https://youtu.be/IkKh4O1-F8k. A compilation of old movie scene dances set to Boogie Woogie Country Girl.

 Weight Loss. Check out the Dyson Vacuum Cleaner commercial at https://youtu.be/t_3oIy5jAG0 and see how to suck those pounds off.

 Ford Carriers. The US Navy has announced its intention to block-buy two Ford-class aircraft carriers, US Senate Armed Services Committee member Tim Kaine has confirmed. The navy expects to spend around $43bn to build the first three ships in the class.

 Mexico. President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador used his first news conference of 2019 to start recruitment of 50,000 personnel for his new National Guard, which will become the country's primary security force.

 Recycling. New means under development that will convert trash to hot water or oil in the kitchen. Check out https://youtu.be/hAZBXxhqMD4 and https://youtu.be/qPIHJRIpLRk.

 Comedy. The ability to improvise and create comedy is one that very few comedians are truly gifted with and Jonathan Winters was one of the best. You can only imagine the laughs he provided for his fellow Marines that he served with in the Pacific during World War Two. I’m sure heaven just got a whole lot funnier as I have no doubt Jonathan talked his way past Saint Peter and the pearly gates. Here is one of his skits from the 1964 Jack Parr show: https://youtu.be/wwWDa1xPTPA

 Lucky Escape. Why a man should always let a woman speak first when discussing anything serious is exemplified at https://youtu.be/E3pjq0WAupc.

 Pearl Harbor. At https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uD7dh6lCYpg is a 45 minute clip titled, “Pearl Harbour The New Evidence Secret History” which allegedly recounts the truth about the attack.

 Health Care Fraud. The U.S. Department of Justice has announced that in the fiscal year ending September 30, 2018, it recovered $2.5 billion in settlements and judgments in False Claim Act cases related to the health care industry, which includes drug and medical device manufacturers, managed care providers, hospitals, pharmacies, hospice organizations, laboratories, and physicians. This is the ninth consecutive year in which more than $2 billion was recovered in health care fraud cases. Most of the recovery arose from whistle-blower suits in which company insiders disclosed the wrongdoing.

 Car Theft. An amazing look at how car thieves were able to steal a car by intercepting the Key FOB signal at http://newsletter.biggeekdad.com/t/i-l-nthkiz-bhukrhuhd-b. Something to consider on how you are going to keep your car keys in your house.

 VA is Hiring! Looking for a new career in the new year? VA is hiring! Learn about VA’s career opportunities at www.va.gov/jobs. Go to USA Jobs website at https://www.usajobs.gov/search?a=VALA if you’re looking for Veterans Benefits Administration opportunities specifically.

 Last Imperial Soldier. At https://youtu.be/ZzFxZwt-8zQ is a 32 min video based on a true story. It tells a tale of a WWII Japanese soldier who refuses to surrender even after the war has ended but one day a man approaches him and from that day onward his life changes forever. P.S. This short is a fictionalization of a historical event.

 USS Fitzgerald (DDG-62). The owners of the massive merchant vessel that collided with the warship Fitzgerald in 2017, drowning seven sailors, have agreed to pay the U.S. government nearly $27 million as part of a settlement agreement.

 Niagara Falls. Many people have visited Niagara Falls and enjoyed the view but when you see Niagara Falls from above https://youtu.be/cfoLYTKObiU you truly realize how spectacular it is.

 Corvette Heaven. At https://vimeo.com/55461336 is a short video about a young boy who falls in love with a Corvette and spends the rest of his life pursuing his dream car.

 Tiny Apartment. At https://vimeo.com/109832468 check out the 86 sq ft really functional and easy to live in Paris, France apartment. At https://vimeo.com/99643183 is a renovation plan for a similar size room in your home.

IT IS ALL SHERMANS' FAULT

Black-Eyed Peas ► Why Southerners Eat Them on New Year’s

It was the winter of 1864 when the devil went down to Georgia. William Tecumseh Sherman issued special field order no. 120 which commanded his soldiers to forage liberally. The 60,000 man army would forcefully live off the people of the South; foragers rode off in all directions looking for loot. According to Sherman’s own estimates, his armies seized over 5,000 horses, 4,000 mules and 13,000 head of cattle, while confiscating 9.5 million pounds of corn and 10.5 million pounds of livestock fodder.

Unfortunately, there was much more involved than an entire army stealing food from homesteads. A scorched earth policy existed to ensure military, as well as, industrial targets, infrastructure and civilian property were destroyed to disrupt the Confederacy’s economy, transportation networks and ability to wage war. Sherman decided that the time had come to widen the pain with what he called the hard hand of war to include Southern civilians. In the same way he later targeted Indian villages- Southern towns, cities and homesteads were laid waste. The horses, cows, pigs and chickens were stolen while Southerners found their homesteads, barns and fields completely devastated and burned to the ground.

Originally planted for livestock, northerners considered black-eyed peas, often called field or cow peas, as not fit for human consumption. Since the Union Army already stole all the livestock, there was no need to take the time nor trouble to destroy the animal food. As Sherman’s troops stole or laid waste to all other crops, luck had it that complete fields of black-eyed peas were left standing. The little black-eyed pea soon became a crucial staple for Southerners to survive. So this is how the Southern Tradition began. Every New Year’s Eve our people still eat a healthy dose of black-eyed peas for good luck…and to always remember.

[Source: Identity Dixie | Tex Wood | December 31, 2018)

Dishwasher Tips Update 01 ► Non-Dish Uses

Dishwasher Tips Update 01 ► Non-Dish Uses

It may be called a “dishwasher,” but the handy kitchen appliance can clean a lot more than dishes. Think creatively when you’re on a cleaning spree, and you might be able to combine a number of washing tasks all thanks to that one handy machine. In fact, your dishwasher not only saves you time, but it uses hotter water than your poor dishpan hands can stand. Of course, there are limits to what your dishwasher should handle. Be careful, too, when loading items.

Most dishwashers feature heating elements on the bottom. So, lightweight plastic items could warp or melt if you load them on the bottom level. Small items can often fit in your silverware caddy. A top-rack-only Munchkin dishwasher basket (about $7) is good for anything you fear might jump around inside the machine.

Here are some surprising items you might not have realized you can clean in your dishwasher:

1. Some Instant Pot parts -- The Company states that the following parts are dishwasher-safe: Lid, sealing ring, inner pot, and steaming rack.

2. Oven mitts -- Oven mitts take a beating, with everything from gravy to hot caramel accidentally decorating them with new, unwanted designs. Silicone mitts can go in the dishwasher, while cloth ones can be tossed in your washing machine.

3. Dish scrubbers and sponges -- Don’t forget to clean the items you clean with. Stash sponges on the top rack, while long-handled brushes can go in your utensil holder.

4. Trivets -- Stoneware and earthenware trivets and spoon rests are often top-rack dishwasher safe. But use common sense — as you should for many items in this list. Grandma’s gift with the hand-painted sunflowers is too gorgeous to gamble with.

5. Microwave turntables -- Glass turntables can generally go in the dishwasher. If you’re nervous about it, first check your microwave owner’s manual.

6. Refrigerator shelves and bins -- You may have to run that load by itself, as these items can be bulky.

7. Trash can lids and wastebaskets -- Do you have one of those plastic trash cans with a swinging lid? Swing the lid in the dishwasher. Do you have wastebaskets that are small enough to fit in your dishwasher and are from a dishwasher-safe material like hard plastic? Toss them in, too.

8. Toothbrush and soap holders -- When soap and toothpaste drip and dry on bathroom accessories, they leave an unsightly and sometimes germ-ridden mess. Give them a good shower on the dishwasher’s top shelf.

9. Hairbrushes and hair accessories -- First, strip as much hair from the brush as you can. Then, pop the brush into your silverware holder. Keep ponytail holders, barrettes and similar hair accessories pristine by washing them in the dishwasher, too. Be sure to secure small items so they don’t fall through the shelf.

10. Shower poofs

11. Contact-lens cases and pill boxes.

12. Vent covers -- Cleaning the dust out of all the little nooks and crannies of ceiling and floor air vent covers is time consuming drudgery. To prevent metal covers from rusting, run them through a short dishwasher cycle and promptly dry them by hand.

13. Dustpans, broom heads and vacuum attachments -- Use the top rack and a low-heat cycle if they have rubber rings or other parts inside, or if you’re just unsure.

14. Pet bowls and toys

15. Flower or plant pots -- Run terracotta and hard plastic planters through the dishwasher after brushing off any clumps of dirt that could clog pipes. The super-heated water will help kill any plant diseases that might linger.

16. Hubcaps -- First, gently hose off your hubcaps if they’re especially muddy or grimy. You might also want to pour a cup of white vinegar into your dishwasher’s rinse-aid compartment before you start, and make sure they ride through the dishwasher alone.

17. Golf balls -- Putt them into the utensil holder or a mesh lingerie bag,

[Source: MoneyTalksNews | Gael F. Cooper | January 9, 2019}