Friday, August 30, 2019

Have you ever thought...

My Thoughts
 I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

 Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

 I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

 There is a great need for sarcasm font.

 How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

 Was learning cursive really necessary?

 Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

 MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my

 Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

 Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

 I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

 Bad decisions make good stories.

 You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that
you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

 Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

 I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

 "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this--ever.

 I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire
day. What a waste.

 Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

 As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of
transportation, I always hate cyclists.

 I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

 Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time.

 I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

 I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with
Miller Lites than Kay.

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