Friday, June 4, 2021

 News of the Weird
JUN 01 thru 15, 2021
Sports – The World Toe Wrestling Federation has announced that the 2021 championship matches will go
ahead in August in Derbyshire, England (what a relief!) and organizers are looking for people who want to
dip their toes in the water of pro competition. Toe wrestling, The Northern Echo reported, takes place sitting
down and barefoot, with the competitors' toes linked. But matches are no tiptoe through the tulips: Ben
"Total Destruction" Woodroffe, who is ranked second in the world (and had his toenails surgically removed
to give him a competitive edge), had his ankle snapped in two places by 16-time champion Alan "Nasty"
Nash -- during a practice session. "It's a people's sport; there are no levels or qualifiers, and anyone can
join," Woodroffe said encouragingly. [The Northern Echo, 4/24/2021]
o-o-O-o-o-
Right Under Your Nose – A woman known only as Sajitha from Kerala, India, disappeared in 2010, when
she was just 18 years old, reported Newsweek. But about three months ago, the mystery of her
disappearance began to come to light. Sajitha had left her home 11 years ago and walked just 1,600 feet to
the home of her neighbor, Alinchuvattil Rahman, who at the time was 24 years old. Reportedly, the couple
believed their romantic relationship was threatened by their differing religions, so Rahman settled her in a
locked spare bedroom in his parents' home, where she spent the next decade watching a small TV using
headphones. Rahman's brother, Basheer, said Rahman was intensely secretive about the room and kept it
locked at all times; his bad temper discouraged his family from asking about what was going on. "During
the day, as everyone was at work, Rahman and Sajitha would have the house to themselves," Basheer said.
The room had no bathroom; Sajitha would crawl out a window at night to relieve herself. This spring,
Sajitha left the home and Rahman followed shortly after; his family reported him missing, but Basheer soon
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"spotted Rahman by chance" in another village, where he and his beloved have set up their new home.
[Newsweek, 6/10/2021]
o-o-O-o-o-
Wait, What! – The Tail Company, based in the United Kingdom, is starting production of its newest
offering, miTail -- a Bluetooth-enabled animatronic tail that wearers can control with a phone app, Nerdist
reported on May 13. For example, a wearer might want to express emotions such as "frustrated and tense"
or "calm and relaxed." Other moves include the Short Wag, the Happy Wag and the Erect Tremble. The
company plans to start delivering the Kickstarter-supported products in August. [Nerdist, 5/13/2021]
-o-o-O-o-o-
Weird Animals – In Victoria, British Columbia, photographer Tony Austin was out for a nature walk on
May 31 when he ran across an inexplicable sight: A group of crows had landed close by, and one was sort
of flopping around in the dirt. "It would sort of ... hop into the air and ... then hop back onto the gravel,"
Austin said. As Austin grew nearer, he saw that the bird was covered with ants. He was concerned for the
bird's welfare, but when he posted a picture on a Facebook page for bird enthusiasts, he was relieved, NPR
reported. The crow was "anting" -- spreading ants on its feathers and wings. Experts aren't clear about why
birds do this; it may be related to cleanliness or to share the ants' defensive secretions of fungicides,
miticides and insecticides. [NPR, 6/7/2021]
-o-o-O-o-o-
Inappropriate Behavior – Jerry Detrick, 70, was cited by Greenville, Ohio, police on May 30 for
"littering," The Smoking Gun reported. What he actually was doing was defecating and urinating on his
neighbor's lawn when the homeowner discovered him around 3:15 a.m. Matthew Guyette called 911 after
spotting Detrick relieving himself next to a hedge. Detrick, a self-described "Trump man" who lives a
couple of blocks away, told police that he targeted Guyette's home because he and his partner "are
Democrats and support Joe Biden." Reportedly, Detrick had been leaving his mark on the lawn for about
10 years, along with restaurant napkins he used to wipe. He is scheduled to appear in court on June 8. [The
Smoking Gun, 6/3/2021]
-o-o-O-o-o-
Low-Tech Solution – During the COVID-19 pandemic, grounded planes were often parked in deserts --
ideal conditions for storing them. But aircraft maintenance crews also discovered unwanted guests: snakes.
So Australian airline Qantas added one more item to its engineering kit: a "wheel whacker," also known as
a broom handle. Before crews begin their landing gear inspections, they circle the plane, stomping their
feet and whacking the wheels to scare off sleepy snakes, said engineering manager Tim Heywood. The
"feisty rattlers love to curl up around the warm rubber tires and in the aircraft wheels and brakes," he said,
according to CNN. "We've encountered a few rattlesnakes and also some scorpions, but the wheel whacker
does its job and they scuttle off." [CNN, 6/3/2021]
-o-o-O-o-o-
Don't Go There – A papier-mache statue of a stegosaurus, placed outside the Cubic Building in a suburb
of Barcelona, Spain, had an odorous secret, The Washington Post reported. On May 22, a father and son
who were admiring the statue noticed a foul stench coming from it and peered into a crack in the dinosaur's
leg. There they saw the body of a man. The 39-year-old was reported missing just hours before he was
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discovered; the local police said they don't suspect foul play. Instead, they believe the man dropped his
phone in the statue's leg and tried to retrieve it, becoming stuck headfirst. He may have been in the statue
for a couple of days, authorities said. [Washington Post, 5/25/2021]
[Source: https://www.uexpress.com/news-of-the-weird | June 15, 2021 ++]
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Vocabulary
Some Words to Enhance Yours | 210615
 Antipathy [ an-tip-uh-thee ] a deep-seated feeling of dislike.
 Austere [ aw-steer ] (of living conditions or a way of life) having no comforts or luxuries; harsh or
ascetic.
 Breviloquent [ bre-vil-uh-kwuhnt ] speaking or expressed in a concise or terse style; using brevity of
speech.
 Chiaroscuro [ kee-ahr-uh-skyoor-oh ]the treatment of light and shade in drawing and painting.
 Demagogue [ dem-uh-gog ] a political leader who seeks support by appealing to the desires and
prejudices of ordinary people rather than by using rational argument
 Gorp [ gawrp ] a mixture of nuts, raisins, dried fruits, seeds, or the like eaten as a high-energy snack,
as by hikers and climbers.
 Haughty [ haw-tee ] arrogantly superior and disdainful.
 Ignominious [ ig-nuh-min-ee-uhs ] marked by or attended with ignominy; discreditable, humiliating.
 Inimitable [ ih-nim-i-tuh-buhl ] incapable of being imitated or copied; surpassing imitation; matchless.
 Logorrhea [ law-guh-ree-uh ] pathologically incoherent, repetitious speech; incessant or compulsive
talkativeness.
 Recapitulate [ ree-kuh-pich-uh-leyt ] summarize and state again the main points of,
 Synecdoche [ si-nek-duh-kee ] a figure of speech in which a part is used for the whole or the whole
for a part, the special for the general or the general for the special, as in Texas won by six runs
(meaning "Texas's baseball team").
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Have You Heard or Seen?
Getting Older Insights | Military Humor 21 | Think Toons
Getting Older Insights
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1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How on earth are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my
neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just
aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my
collection ... again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my
ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin
with Miller Light than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't
hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at
the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell
phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from
3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.
That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
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**********************
Military Humor 21
1. What grades do you need to join the Navy? Seven Cs
2. What do you call an American Naval ship hijacked by pirates? USS-Arrrr!
3. I’ve never understood the Navy’s color being Navy blue.
I thought they were the aqua-marines.
4. A kid fresh from high school wants to join the Navy.
“Can you swim?” asks the recruiter.
“Why? Don’t y’all have boats?”
5. Air Force Pilot to a Seaman:
“You’re telling me that you’re in the Navy but can’t swim?”
Seaman: “You’re in the Air Force. Can you fly?”
6. What’s the difference between a Navy Aircrewman and an otter?
The otter knows he’s not a seal.
7. What do you call a snail aboard a ship? A snailor.
8. My Niece asked me if they have to swim to get in the Navy.
I couldn’t figure it out, but I guessed she thought about it after my nephew declared that he was going
into the Marines and stole her crayons.
9. I’m about to lose my job in the Navy unless I make some drastic changes.
I have to take a course in anchor management.
10. Why does the Norwegian Navy put bar codes on their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

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