Sunday, April 25, 2021

Little Johnny 3

 
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!"


Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad.


Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her.


Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"


o-o-O-o-o-


A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."


Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?" 

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"


"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first."


"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"


"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea." 

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"


o-o-O-o-o-

A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" 

Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.


"And you, Susie? " the teacher asks. 

Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."

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