THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED FROM YOUR PARENTS (BABY BOOMER EDITION)

Things You Learned From your Parents

 TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE—"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside... I just finished cleaning."

 RELIGION—"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

 TIME TRAVEL—"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

 LOGIC—"Because I said so, that's why."

 MORE LOGIC—"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

 FORESIGHT—"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

 IRONY—"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

 OSMOSIS—"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

 CONTORTION-ISM—"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

 STAMINA—"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

 WEATHER—"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

 HYPOCRISY—"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

 CIRCLE OF LIFE—"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

 BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION—"If all the other kids jumped off a cliff, would you?!"

 ENVY—"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

 ANTICIPATION—"Just wait until your father gets home."

 RECEIVING—"You are going to get it when you get home!"

 MEDICAL SCIENCE—"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

 ESP—"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

 HUMOR—"Wipe that smirk off your face or I'll show you what's funny!"

 HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT—"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

 GENETICS—"You're gonna grow up just like your crazy uncle!"

 ROOTS—"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

 WISDOM—"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

 JUSTICE—"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"

 CHOICE—"Do you want me to stop this car?"