Muslim Terrorists Suicides

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim Terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Let's have a look at the evidence:

 No Christmas

 No television

 No nude women

 No football

 No pork chops

 No nude women

 No hot dogs

 No burgers

 No nude women

 No beer

 No bacon

 No nude women

 Rags for clothes

 Towels for hats

 Constant wailing from some guy in a tower

 More than one wife

 More than one mother in law

 You can't shave

 Your wife can't shave

 You can't wash off the smell of donkey

 You cook over burning camel dung

 Your wife is picked by someone else for you and smells worse than your donkey

Then they tell you that "when you die, it all gets better. Well no sh*t Sherlock!.... It's not like it could get much worse

WORDS HAVE MORE THAN ONE MEANING

1. The meaning of opaque is unclear.

2. I wasn't going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind.

3. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

4. A man tried to assault me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy!

5. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

6. If there was someone selling marijuana in our neighborhood, weed know about it.

7. It's a lengthy article about ancient Japanese sword fighters but I can Sumurais it for you.

8. It's not that the man couldn't juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

9. So what if I don't know the meaning of the word 'apocalypse'? It's not the end of the world.

10. Police were called to the daycare center. A 3-year old was resisting a rest.

11. The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

12. Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.

13. Alternative facts are aversion of the truth.

14. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

15. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

16. Did you know they won't be making yardsticks any longer?

17. I used to be allergic to soap but I'm clean now.

18. The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.

19. What did the man say when the bridge fell on him? The suspension is killing me.

20. Do you have weight loss mantras? Fat chants!

21. My tailor is happy to make a new pair of pants for me. Or sew it seams.

22. What is a thesaurus's favorite dessert? Synonym buns.

23. A relief map shows where the restrooms are.

24. There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.

25. How do they figure out the price of hammers? Per pound.

SORRY, I COULDN'T RESIST

How some of us are spending the quarantine.

Tax Advice on Your Corvid-19 Stimulus Money

Just received this from Peter Horwath, Baryon Cover artist, and just had to share it.


Subject: Important Tax Advice/Economic Stimulus


Sometime this year, we taxpayers will likely receive another economic stimulus.

It is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q&A format:

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus?

A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q: Where will the government get this money?

A: From taxpayers.


Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money, then?

A: No, only a smidgen of it.


Q: What is the purpose of this payment?

A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.


Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?

A: Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with your stimulus check. Use it wisely:


* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

* if you spend it on gasoline, it money will go to the Arabs.

* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan or China.

* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.

* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.

* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, keep the money in America by:


(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or

(2) Going to a ballgame, or

(3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

(4) Beer, or

(5) Tattoos

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)


CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.

Military terms / sayings to reflect on

I Jest You Not…
by pdoggbiker

Maybe you've already seen this. I know we lived it while in the military.
I remember seeing this back in the 80's but couldn't find it again...until recently.

Murphy's thoughts: Military terms / sayings to reflect on:

Friendly fire - isn't.

Recoil-less rifles - aren't.

Suppressive fires - won't.

You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.

A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on
you.

If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.

If it isn't broke, don't mess with it.

If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.

The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they're ready and when you're not.

No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.

There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

Five-second fuses always burn three seconds.

There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

The Ol' Ranger's addendum: Or else they're trying to suck you into a serious ambush!

The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.
The easy way is always mined.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon
for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.

Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.

No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

If the enemy is within range, so are you.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.

Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.

Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.

Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.)

Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.

Tracers work both ways.

If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your
fair share of objectives to take.

When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.

Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

Military Intelligence is a contradiction.

Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.

Weather ain't neutral.

If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward you.

Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground. 'Flies high, it dies;
low and slow, it'll go.

The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.

Napalm is an area support weapon.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.

Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.

Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

The one item you need is always in short supply.

Interchangeable parts aren't.

It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may
concern "you've got to think about.

When in doubt, empty your magazine.

The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when
you can sleep.

The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.

Exceptions prove the rule and destroy the battle plan.

Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.

The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.

One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Should you have a question or comment
about this article, then scroll down to the comment section below to leave your response.

If you want to learn more about the Vietnam War and its Warriors, then subscribe to
this blog and get notified http://cherrieswriter.com

Korean Veterans Ceremony

The ceremony honoring our Korean War Heroes has been postponed from the April 9 date until a date to be determined after the CORVID19 problem has run its' course.

Apologies.